About My Best Friends & Life Getting In the Way

TODAY Skip sent me this picture of the two of us giving Phil a little lovin’ on his 21st birthday back in 1977. No, we’re not gay, just 21-year-old boys expressing affection by “pretending” to be gay (note: Skip and I are only 20, still months away from tasting our first beer). But the truth is, in a guy-way, we loved each other back then and, the good part is, we still do. I’ve known them both for 35 years and they’re the kind of friends where we can always pick up where we last left off.

We’ve also been there for each other for every important event that has happened in our lives; from graduations, to marriages, to Bar Mitzvahs, to hospital stays, to child birth. We’ve also been there far too often for the death of people close to us. When Bill died they were both by my side, just as they were when my parents passed away 10 years before. Your hand shakes a little more when you’re saying the long good bye, but the two of them always reached out and kept me steady.

Now Skip’s father is struggling from myriad of maladies that have somehow made him seem more, well, normal. Is that possible? Of course we remember the Hanker as the life of the party who, through no fault of my own, always dragged me into his mischief. I don’t know who embarrassed Skip more, his dad, or me. Whether he had a cigarette or a toothpick in his mouth, I will always remember him for his kindness to Skip’s friends. Yes, that’s right Hank, your kindness, not the thumb-grabbing. Because when you get right down to it, there are few men more caring, more sharing, and, well, basically more of a friend than Hank. The jokes and gas have always just been a bonus.

Now he and the lovely Jayne are getting ready to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary which has much to do with love, but I suspect has more to do about patience. And damn it all to hell, I won’t be able to be there for them. But if I was, I would lift a glass of champagne and….well….I would do what Hank would do, I’d drink it down and then grab a little frosting off the cake and pretend nothing happened out of the ordinary. Who's going to notice a little frosting around the lips at a time like this?

My love and admiration go out to Hank and Jayne on such a momentous occasion. Wish I could be there for you.

Just to show the three of us are joined in some weird cosmic way, I also got a voice message from Phil today. It said that his father, Gus, began his day a few days ago with a bloody nose and ended it with cardiac arrest. Now Gus is over 80 but you’d never know it from looking at him. He looks younger than I do. He swims every day and if one can find an ounce of fat on him, I’d be surprised. Phil says he’s OK and I hope he’s right. We can always use someone who can play Girl From Ipanema on the piano until two in the morning.

I guess getting older means these sorts of things will happen. I wish like hell we could just skip this step in life’s lousy lessons.

And don't forget to visit Skip's ummm, unusual website: http://pulltabchain.freewebpage.org. The mug shots look real, Skip (who is actually from Cincinnati. True story).