In the past year and a half, I've written 150 posts that have averaged about two pages each, or roughly 300 typed pages. I began Lazlo's Lament as an accidental blogger and then discovered I enjoyed the short writing exercises and keeping some of you entertained some of the time. Even the name was a bit of a whim because I didn't expect to still be at this 18 months later.
Writing Lazlo's Lament has been a joy and a challenge as I tried to entertain you all and, I suspect, entertain myself. It's also been a bit of a chore because at some point you come to realize that people are reading what passes for this modern-day mass communication, and you feel compelled to write good (or is it well?) As Sladed will attest, we vanity bloggers find that everything happening around us becomes a trigger for that all-illusive content and that this process becomes seductive and addictive, leaving too many brain cells tied up in this undertaking for our own good.
I suspect the blank sheet of paper that we stare at when we have a good idea carries the same feeling I used to get when I was feverishly writing my novel and wondering where my story was taking me next and how I would find the right mix of prose to make the journey worthwhile. At this moment, I don't know where my novel is, let alone where it's going. But I need to find out, and there is a big part of me that wonders where it would be now if I had invested those same 300 pages and edits into my novel.
For those who may have heard at one point or another, I have written more than 400 pages of my novel; some in great need of editing, some not half-bad. If you also know me, you are aware that I have a terrible history of completing things. From musical instruments to foreign languages to sports, I have started them all and mastered none. At 50-years-old, perhaps this is a good time to see if I can complete something I started and learn what it feels like to be satisfied when I have finished, even if it is only on my terms.
So, to completely bury the lead, I won't be posting to this site for a while as I take whatever energy has gone into writing this nonsense and put it toward completing something that has been a lifelong dream: a novel. Wish me luck and thank you for all your kind thoughts, your complaints, your reasoned debate and, hopefully, for a laugh or two. Be well.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
It's Friggin' Cold
As a reprieve from the vigorous debate on my last post on global warming and Iraq, I offer this post on – global warming. Or should I discuss global cooling because, damn, is it cold.
It was minus 2 degrees in Minneapolis where I switched planes and had to wait far too long to get off the jetway and on the plane. In Virginia, it’s 21 degrees and snowing. We need a patch of global warming and we need it now.
The snow is fluffy and white and beautiful, but I will likely end up skidding on ice and sail into a snow drift. The good news, I know what to do if I end up in a snow drift: stay with the car. The bad news is nobody is coming. I could call AAA and they will commend me for staying with the car, but I think they do that so they will no where to find the body once the snow melts. As good a company as AAA is, the only difference between them and any other towing service is, while neither will come out in this weather to extricate me from a snow drift, at least AAA won’t charge me.
It's pretty cold inside my Virginia Estates too and this is saying something because usually it’s 80 degrees inside when it 20 degrees outside. It’s so cold I considered backing the car up and sticking the exhaust pipe in the window to keep it warmer in the bedroom. My plan was foiled when the engine block froze.
In the end, it is better to stay inside rather than drive in this weather. I know the kids used to long for storms like this because it meant that the weather was bad enough to cancel school but, ironically, not bad enough to meet up with their friends and go sledding. What the kids may not have known was that we parents longed for the same kind of day because we didn’t really feel like going into work either. And this brings me to my marketing suggestion for AAA. Rather than fish us out for bad driving in bad weather, they should come to our house, make us a lunch and give us a few drinks, wrap our legs in a warm blanket, turn on the television and tell us not to go anywhere. Now this would be a service worth paying the big bucks for.
It was minus 2 degrees in Minneapolis where I switched planes and had to wait far too long to get off the jetway and on the plane. In Virginia, it’s 21 degrees and snowing. We need a patch of global warming and we need it now.
The snow is fluffy and white and beautiful, but I will likely end up skidding on ice and sail into a snow drift. The good news, I know what to do if I end up in a snow drift: stay with the car. The bad news is nobody is coming. I could call AAA and they will commend me for staying with the car, but I think they do that so they will no where to find the body once the snow melts. As good a company as AAA is, the only difference between them and any other towing service is, while neither will come out in this weather to extricate me from a snow drift, at least AAA won’t charge me.
It's pretty cold inside my Virginia Estates too and this is saying something because usually it’s 80 degrees inside when it 20 degrees outside. It’s so cold I considered backing the car up and sticking the exhaust pipe in the window to keep it warmer in the bedroom. My plan was foiled when the engine block froze.
In the end, it is better to stay inside rather than drive in this weather. I know the kids used to long for storms like this because it meant that the weather was bad enough to cancel school but, ironically, not bad enough to meet up with their friends and go sledding. What the kids may not have known was that we parents longed for the same kind of day because we didn’t really feel like going into work either. And this brings me to my marketing suggestion for AAA. Rather than fish us out for bad driving in bad weather, they should come to our house, make us a lunch and give us a few drinks, wrap our legs in a warm blanket, turn on the television and tell us not to go anywhere. Now this would be a service worth paying the big bucks for.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
He's Not Dead Yet
In a tribute to the Black Plague that only Monty Python can do, there is a scene in the movie Monty Python and The Holy Grail where a guy is pulling a wagon through the streets of a town yelling, “Bring out your dead.” The wagon is heaped with dead people. A short while later, a man puts his father on the wagon and the father is obviously not dead. The father complains, saying, “I’m not dead yet.”
This is kind of how our dog Mutties must have felt last week. Weak and feeble, it looked like it was the end for our 17-year-old cocker spaniel. He couldn’t raise his head very well, he had a vacant look and worse, he refused something to eat even when delicately handed to him. For those who know Mutties, there is never a moment when he won’t eat something.
So the family was in seclusion last week trying to reach a consensus about what to do and what would be most fair to him. None of us wanted him to suffer even a little bit. On Friday he was worse than he had been the night before. He was shivering and unable to move. I called the family and said it was likely time we let The Vet and not The Lord take him. All were in sad agreement. Even the Boy gave him a plug on his blog, Gonewandering.
On a whim I decided to give him a Johnsonville Polish Brat and he gobbled it down with vigor. He then stood up and slowly walked to the toilet to drink some refreshing water, walked outside to do his business – both varieties, and then went back to sleep with a comfortable look about him.
The day before he was practically praying about his crucifixion (the only thing it could be for such a god-like creature) in the Garden of Gethsemane and the next day, thanks to a Polish sausage and holy water, he was alive and kicking. It is now Sunday and he is doing even better. Koala Bears have suggested it was all in the water. Maybe so, but we’re happily off the death watch for the moment.
By the way, if you decide to buy the Monty Python movie or any book or movie, for that matter, go through the Sladed Blog so he gets some extra money and will prove to me that I can make a buck or two ogg this blogging thing.
Special thoughts go out to Italiphil who is desperately trying to save his wonderful Scottie dog Annie. Annie has poor kidney function but, hopefully, is young and strong enough to pull out of this.
This is kind of how our dog Mutties must have felt last week. Weak and feeble, it looked like it was the end for our 17-year-old cocker spaniel. He couldn’t raise his head very well, he had a vacant look and worse, he refused something to eat even when delicately handed to him. For those who know Mutties, there is never a moment when he won’t eat something.
So the family was in seclusion last week trying to reach a consensus about what to do and what would be most fair to him. None of us wanted him to suffer even a little bit. On Friday he was worse than he had been the night before. He was shivering and unable to move. I called the family and said it was likely time we let The Vet and not The Lord take him. All were in sad agreement. Even the Boy gave him a plug on his blog, Gonewandering.
On a whim I decided to give him a Johnsonville Polish Brat and he gobbled it down with vigor. He then stood up and slowly walked to the toilet to drink some refreshing water, walked outside to do his business – both varieties, and then went back to sleep with a comfortable look about him.
The day before he was practically praying about his crucifixion (the only thing it could be for such a god-like creature) in the Garden of Gethsemane and the next day, thanks to a Polish sausage and holy water, he was alive and kicking. It is now Sunday and he is doing even better. Koala Bears have suggested it was all in the water. Maybe so, but we’re happily off the death watch for the moment.
By the way, if you decide to buy the Monty Python movie or any book or movie, for that matter, go through the Sladed Blog so he gets some extra money and will prove to me that I can make a buck or two ogg this blogging thing.
Special thoughts go out to Italiphil who is desperately trying to save his wonderful Scottie dog Annie. Annie has poor kidney function but, hopefully, is young and strong enough to pull out of this.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Media Hysteria
There seems to be a passion among journalists to label things. Lately there have been two mantras coming from the chattering class.
For the past year, there has been one story or another about one scientists or organization proclaiming there is global warming. Lately there has been a slight modification and the word “manmade” has been added to the headline.
The other has been a year-long discussion about whether or not there is a “civil war” in Iraq, as if this definition changes anything for the average Iraqi or affects our forces in the battlefield.
For the sake of greater economy for future headline writers, let’s stipulate two points to the media so it can move on to other hysterias: there is global warming and it is a civil war in Iraq. Now there is no more need for breathless headlines and interviews to support the media’s new cause celeb. Anymore stories or headlines trying to further define these issues will seem like beating a dead horse (although speaking of beating dead horses, they could write more on Barbaro and give us more intimate details beyond what his last meal was – grass, as the shocking truth turns out).
Having offered permission for the media to move on it should now be a bit scary for them. Now they can’t offer the opinion of others to manufacture a story. They should write about the solutions and the impact of those solutions on their subscriber base. And this is where it gets tricky.
If we sign on to Kyoto or even go so far as to all agree that we are in the midst of manmade global warming, what are we to do? Ride our bikes to work? Stop using air conditioning? Shut down all carbon burning power plants (i.e. most power plants), plant a billion new trees or close down most manufacturing facilities and re-deploy the displaced workforce? At the same time, give China and India a free pass because, you know, they are developing and need to engage in a little bit of global warming to take their people out of poverty, right?
In Iraq, so what if there is a civil war? This is a distinction without a difference. There was one going on before W. was out of high school and, as it happens, it pitted the Sunnis against the Shiites. This really shouldn’t surprise anyone in the media because they were covering this story back then, too. The difference this time is the Sunnis are in the minority and don’t have control of as many guns. They do seem to have a strong willingness to blow themselves up, so they have that going for them.
Let the media discuss the solution on this one, too. We could leave Iraq and Afgahnistan (where is the body count on Afghanistan, by the way) and just let them kill each other, and then the media could write headlines discussing the humanitarian and genocidal problems in the region. We could stay and put our men and women in harm’s way and have more stories about supporting the troops but not the mission. We could also take the gloves off and put a quicker end to the violence, but that would smell like victory and there is already too much vested in defeat.
Of course the main thing the media can do is stop listening to the democrats who believe they have an anti-war mandate from November’s elections (despite having to win with pro-war candidates) and ignore their enabling republicans who say the war is lost and we need our troops home in six months. First, if the war is really lost, why wait six months? Bring them home now and don’t allow another troop to die or be injured.
Absent that, do the media and those who seek their coverage have any understanding that the rise in sectarian violence – sorry, civil war – has much to do with their call to get the U.S. out the Viet Nam “quagmire?” Really, if you were a terrorits and wanted the Americans out of Iraq and understood the whim of the American public that no longer has the stomach for a body bag on television, what would you do to turn up the pressure? Increase the violence and cause gasps among the body politic, or take a nap while the U.S. undergoes this debate? The hundreds killed in recent weeks has given us the answer to this question. Perhaps those in the media could check their hands to see if they can find any blood on them.
For the past year, there has been one story or another about one scientists or organization proclaiming there is global warming. Lately there has been a slight modification and the word “manmade” has been added to the headline.
The other has been a year-long discussion about whether or not there is a “civil war” in Iraq, as if this definition changes anything for the average Iraqi or affects our forces in the battlefield.
For the sake of greater economy for future headline writers, let’s stipulate two points to the media so it can move on to other hysterias: there is global warming and it is a civil war in Iraq. Now there is no more need for breathless headlines and interviews to support the media’s new cause celeb. Anymore stories or headlines trying to further define these issues will seem like beating a dead horse (although speaking of beating dead horses, they could write more on Barbaro and give us more intimate details beyond what his last meal was – grass, as the shocking truth turns out).
Having offered permission for the media to move on it should now be a bit scary for them. Now they can’t offer the opinion of others to manufacture a story. They should write about the solutions and the impact of those solutions on their subscriber base. And this is where it gets tricky.
If we sign on to Kyoto or even go so far as to all agree that we are in the midst of manmade global warming, what are we to do? Ride our bikes to work? Stop using air conditioning? Shut down all carbon burning power plants (i.e. most power plants), plant a billion new trees or close down most manufacturing facilities and re-deploy the displaced workforce? At the same time, give China and India a free pass because, you know, they are developing and need to engage in a little bit of global warming to take their people out of poverty, right?
In Iraq, so what if there is a civil war? This is a distinction without a difference. There was one going on before W. was out of high school and, as it happens, it pitted the Sunnis against the Shiites. This really shouldn’t surprise anyone in the media because they were covering this story back then, too. The difference this time is the Sunnis are in the minority and don’t have control of as many guns. They do seem to have a strong willingness to blow themselves up, so they have that going for them.
Let the media discuss the solution on this one, too. We could leave Iraq and Afgahnistan (where is the body count on Afghanistan, by the way) and just let them kill each other, and then the media could write headlines discussing the humanitarian and genocidal problems in the region. We could stay and put our men and women in harm’s way and have more stories about supporting the troops but not the mission. We could also take the gloves off and put a quicker end to the violence, but that would smell like victory and there is already too much vested in defeat.
Of course the main thing the media can do is stop listening to the democrats who believe they have an anti-war mandate from November’s elections (despite having to win with pro-war candidates) and ignore their enabling republicans who say the war is lost and we need our troops home in six months. First, if the war is really lost, why wait six months? Bring them home now and don’t allow another troop to die or be injured.
Absent that, do the media and those who seek their coverage have any understanding that the rise in sectarian violence – sorry, civil war – has much to do with their call to get the U.S. out the Viet Nam “quagmire?” Really, if you were a terrorits and wanted the Americans out of Iraq and understood the whim of the American public that no longer has the stomach for a body bag on television, what would you do to turn up the pressure? Increase the violence and cause gasps among the body politic, or take a nap while the U.S. undergoes this debate? The hundreds killed in recent weeks has given us the answer to this question. Perhaps those in the media could check their hands to see if they can find any blood on them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)