Slung In Singapore

Every country has its own laws dealing with foreigners and foreign travelers. In the U.S., for example, people enter the country for a two-week vacation, disappear and end up with a job, no taxes, their kids getting in-state tuition for college and everyone gets the right to vote. Thailand isn’t quite so accommodating. In fact a tough-to-get visa is needed for anyone who wants to stay more than 30 days. Rather than paying the price and going through the hassle, Pea-Z and I figured our way around the strict law was to exit the country and return, having the 30-day clock start over. And if it took us to someplace interesting, so be it.

Based on length of flight (an exit on a train gets you only 15 days), the cost of the flight, and available Hilton Hotels that allow payment with points, we chose Singapore. I would have preferred Hong Kong, but it’s nearly a four hour flight and much more expensive. Singapore was on my bucket list, so that’s where we decided to go.

Every place has its charm and its bothersome characteristics, but Singapore is so small of a City State that both ends of that spectrum are on full display. Singapore is an odd mixture of capitalism on steroids and a police state and everyone seems quite pleased with that incongruity. On the immigration form as you enter the country, there is a bold red statement that says, “Death to drug traffickers under Singapore law.” It made me nervous to jaywalk…

It’s a highly organized city with strict rules on traffic control, including high taxes on cars and a huge 10-year car ownership fee that bumps the price of a new Toyota Camry to about $175,000. It works, too, because there is really no traffic on the streets, with most people traveling on a very user-friendly metro system.

Being there you get the impression people are satisfied with the strict rules and tight restrictions on immigration. Singapore has the most millionaires per capita and the third highest per-capita income in the world. I suspect many of the people who live there like the idea of keeping it a tropical business and wealth paradise and are willing to give up a slice of their personal freedom to ensure it stays this way. In that respect, the government takes on a sort of out-of-control HOA that feels they have to tell homeowners the length of each blade of grass in their front yard. The yards end up looking nice, but it would be very irritating to watch a busybody neighbor in front of your house with a ruler every day.

Singapore is mostly a Buddhist country, but seems to be more secular than anything. Their real religion may be in earning money and building 80-story buildings. Singapore is surrounded by 240 million Muslims across one waterway in Indonesia and another 30 million Muslims in Malaysia across a river that I could still swim across, given a good set of goggles. But they all seem nonplussed by being an outpost of temperance, more than likely because they have everything they could ever wish for, which includes the third busiest port in the world. I’m guessing everything their neighbors want they need to get from the ports run by the nice Singaporeans so they’re left to accept a little miscegenation in the neighborhood if they can get cheap electronics.

The other noticeable thing is Singaporeans are bored – or so it would seem. There is no natural beauty to the island, save the orchids and natural fauna, so they have built up about five Disney-like resorts with everything from huge hotels and theme parks to a 6,000 room casino/hotel with three 55-story towers with what looks like a Viking cruise ship that landed on the roof of the three towers (see photo). By all appearance, the locals were just looking to make the place more interesting – in a way, like Las Vegas. So super structures for the amusement of both adults and children popped up like pimples on a junior high school student and permeate any space that isn’t already occupied by a skyscraper.

The culture in Singapore doesn’t have the centuries to provide the color that a place like Thailand does, but there are a few. Pea-Z and I sampled a few of Singapore’s contribution to Asian culture: chicken rice and the Singapore Sling monster alcohol drink. Both are good, but one of the two should be approached with great moderation. Chicken rice is a blend of rice simmered in chicken broth adjacent to very tender white or dark meat chicken and surrounded by very interesting spices. A Singapore Sling has a lot of gin and other libations and, if you have too many, you’re given the urge to take your pants off over your head. The good news is Singapore has such a high sin tax on alcohol one can only afford a single dose of the drink invented at the Raffles Hotel, where we were. At more than $20 a pop, drinking is done in moderation so the pants generally stay on.

We’re now in Thailand, having met our immigrational journey. It makes us legal here, we think. If not, we’ll have to cross another border or two. Any suggestions??

There Is Drudgery, Too

There is a bit of boredom that must be faced when you’re sitting in a hotel room and waiting for a round of excitement promised by an exotic foreign city. Bangkok is anything but boring, but a high rise Hilton is like any other in the world; fluffy towels neatly arranged in the bath, the sheets evenly placed on the bed and tucked in perfectly in all the right places, my receipts and other scattered debris cautiously ignored and left in place by the housekeeping staff and, for reasons that will always puzzle me, the roll of toilet paper has been pressed into a neat triangle shape at the last square.

The illusion that travel in a foreign land presents endless opportunity to embrace the dazzling sites and local culture is a myth I’ve long held to myself. Much more time than I’d care to admit is spent trying to avoid a nap to keep on the time zone, only to fail miserably at it.

The fact is, the duties of life are left unchanged even when given the chance to hide out beyond the reach of dissatisfied clients or believe in the unrealistic hope that all problems were left on the tarmac as the plane accelerated to a safe and distant altitude. I had a meeting today, delivered documents to our client here, and then did my laundry. With the exception of the fact the washing machine had a five-hour setting that I didn’t count on, all of the day’s events were basically unremarkable.

I can’t avoid any of the have to things required at home. I have to cook and shop and wash the dishes I don’t want housekeeping to have to scrape the barnacles off in the morning. I still have to shower and shave and brush my teeth twice daily. Which brings up an aside: Throughout the progress of man, and through all the amazing development of human traits, how is it that we haven’t evolved to the point where the hairs on our cheeks and chins don’t fall out on their own or our teeth don’t clean themselves? It’s all very disappointing that human progress has stopped as it has. It makes me realize there is only life and death and, in between, maintenance.

There have been exciting things since our arrival. I’ve been to some great restaurants, seen some wonderful ancient Buddhist temples and felt a growing kinship with the Thai people and my hosts. The temples didn’t surprise me; I’ve heard about them for years. Although the intricate beauty and detail given to every square inch of the temples demonstrates a unique devotion to individual craftsmanship developed over centuries and passed down to the monks who care for the temple grounds.

Each plaster wall of the dozens of buildings carries a masterpiece painting depicting a historic scene with gold inlay paint. The tiles on the roof are colorfully painted and everywhere are brilliant glass squares that shine in the light. The gold-painted Reclining Buddha, all one ton of him, has ornate mother of pearl tiles on the souls of his feet and the grounds are so expertly groomed it looks like Disney maintenance workers fly in each day.

The point is the monks’ monumental pride in the beauty of their surroundings and their desire to labor on behalf of a higher source is rare in a world where most people work for the holy dollar, a vacation home or a new car. I’m not saying I’m ready to trade in my Italian suit for an orange felt robe, but I can’t help but admire the piety they share to their god and teachings.

So long as we’re on the subject of piety, I suppose it’s worth making a few admissions/apologies to my earlier post on Thailand. The missing IPhone saga, as it turns out, was a bit of conclusion-jumping. I’m sure you’ll all see the humor in this, but it turns out a baggage worker didn’t take my unlocked IPhone. This is pretty funny, but I left it at home instead of putting it in my bag. It’s a mistake that could happen to anyone – just not sure why it’s the kind of mistake that’s often made by me. Anyway, when I get around to it, I’ll send an apology note to the not so friendly Delta customer service representative. I’m sure a good laugh will be had by all.

Something I learned about the IPhone is you can plug in a message that e-mails you whenever your phone is located or turned on. My phone must have been turned on a few days later, because it tracked it to my home. Now here’s the funny part, you can play a really annoying tone that lets anyone in the house know you’ve located the phone. While I didn’t actually hear the tone, I was assured it is similar to a cat being strangled. All is forgiven now and I just as soon move on to bigger and better things.

In the interim, I did buy another phone and now I have three extra phones. This is probably a good idea as I tend to leave them here and there, so I probably can’t have enough of them. By the way, LJ, send money for the phone purchases. I’m pretty sure it’s in the budget…..

Instant Karma

The wonderful Buddhist law of moral causation – or karma – played out on my third day in Thailand. Peasey and I were headed to a meeting and hailed a taxi from our hotel. It was a rare metered taxi and the meter runs very slow in Bangkok. The 20-minute ride cost the equivalent of $1.70. Having just been to the ATM to get some local cash, both Peasey and I discovered we didn’t have any small bills and the driver didn’t have change for our large bills. I figured we were in for an argument or I would have to run into a shop or bank and get some change while Peasey was held as collateral. Instead, he just waved us off and said not to worry, there would be no charge.

For this to be the position of any cabbie in any city in the world is remarkable and about as rare as a Bigfoot siting or a Kardashian saying anything of interest. I asked the driver for his card – Mr. Sayan – and said we would call him in the future and make up for the missing fare. It’s doubtful he believed us, but he smiled anyway.

After we left, Peasey and I talked about how pleasant the Mr. Sayan was, how he was happy to point things out and how well he spoke English. We called him the next day and he remembered me, but it was a Buddhist holiday and he said he would prefer to drive us the next day. We kept our word and called him to take us around town at some sort of fixed price. We left it in his hands on places to take us and where to meet as he dropped us off at each beautiful temple and made sure we knew where to meet him. The temples are a big tourist area in town and there are a lot of street hustlers who will try to sell you a hubcap or harvest your organs, it was difficult to tell which, so it was comforting to see Mr. Sayan waiting for us as planned.

Mr. Sayan called me Boss (I have that look about me) and talked about Thai history, the monarchy, some politics, corrupt police, places to eat, photos of his two “monkeys” (his 11 and 7-year-old kids), and, at every opportunity, taught us a few words in Thai that could come in handy. Peasey retained the words better than I did; I only remember the phrase: That’s too much….

For the day, we paid Mr. Sayan $34 and offered him a job for to be our driver for the remainder of the month for $500. He honestly blushed because I think I offered a bit higher amount than he had in mind. I tried to ask him how much would be fair for a month, but I could tell he didn’t want to negotiate against himself. At first I thought $300 would be about right, but decided on the higher amount because the extra $200 wouldn’t break our budget and I wanted to make sure that we could always count on him. And during the times Peasey will be in Bangkok alone, I wanted to make sure she had a familiar and safe person to drive her around.

So, for the sake of him waving off a $1.70 ride, he earned $500 and a place in our hearts. It wasn’t exactly instant karma, but it came around for him within 48 hours. I’m happy to be a part of that story. LJ, send money, we need to cover this expense plus Peasey keeps boozing it up and going through the meal budget.

Thailand, Part Deux

Well, I’m back in Thailand. Again. This time for about three weeks, then a quick return to California to visit the office and loved ones, and then back again for three weeks. To be truthful, I’m not as enamored with the “life of adventure” as much as I used to be. Perhaps it’s because I’m getting to an age where I expect things to happen the way they’re supposed to, or maybe I’m just tired of being away from my friends and loved ones.

The things not happening as they’re supposed to has been the theme of the first 24 hours of travel. Peasey, my personal, private, executive assistant who is on this trip tells me, in one of those “you’re a curmudgeon but it’s ok” way, that the few times she’s traveled with me, I’ve had “high expectations.” Now, you be the judge: I was told the hotel we’re staying at was a certain rate and it’s about $20 per night higher – and $20 for two rooms for 21 days does add up. I was also told our rate included breakfast, but it doesn’t and that’s another $22 per day – although I wouldn’t fit through the door if I ate the breakfast buffet every day. And when I unpacked, I noticed my unlocked IPhone was missing from my suitcase. A new IPhone is about $750, although a 3G is about $300, which I suppose I will have to settle for. Either way, I need an unlocked phone so I can have a Thai phone number and I hate having to buy IPhone number 16.

So, I think you would agree I’ve been screwed.

On top of things, I left the office with a number of messes that will fall to The Boy and LJ to clean up. I hate leaving messes behind because it becomes difficult to focus on what I’m here to do instead of dealing with the pull that comes from back home. With the time difference limiting the window to talk, it puts an even greater burden on working through things and gives me more “quiet” time to worry about it all.

As for just being away from those I care about, it’s always been a bit of a trade off. It’s been fun to work and visit new cultures and make friends around the world, but it also takes its toll on my relationships back home. One of the things I’ve noticed when I’m gone for a long period of time is how time marches on. I’m here doing my thing and people back home are doing their thing. But we’re not doing our things together, so when I return, I don’t return to the exact same place to any of my relationships. It takes time to rebuild what was lost while I was away and I think I’m just getting too old to keep going through this. Phone calls and e-mails and text messages are no substitute for any kind of personal relationship.

Anyway, it’s still hot and humid in Thailand. This is the rainy season and I had to fly through a typhoon or two to get here. Bangkok doesn’t get drenched the way it does in the north and northeast where flooding this time of year is common. I won’t go up there on this trip, but I will when I come back. I’m looking forward to that for a few reasons. I’m very interested to be more in the middle of ancient Buddhist temples and will be not too far from the Cambodian border where hopefully I can take a train to Angkor Kat, the huge 12th Century temple that should be included in the Seven Wonders Of The World.

Peasey got sick on airplane food and I tried to watch a movie for the 15th time and stare at my Van Gogh Lilies screen saver. Such is our first day in Thailand. Basically it can be said I’m bored, so you get this post if you’re at all interested. I hope I will have tales of beauty and my immersion into the Thai culture in the near future. For now, it’s mostly Lazlo lamenting, as is my want.