In the never-ending battle between the sexes, I have a story that I think you will agree demonstrates the differences in our genetic make-up.
Late last night, tucked in bed in my pajamas – you know, the kind with the booties sewn in with the buttons on the back – I made an amorous maneuver. I simply nestled with Mrs. Laz and put my arm around her. Truth be told, I was a still a little under the spells of slumber and prescription medication so the move was more instinct than good planning.
When I awoke, Mrs. Laz was un-mistakenly happy. “Do you remember snuggling with me last night?” she cooed.
My memory was fuzzy. I wondered if I was still dreaming. It was 9 a.m., so still awfully, awfully early in the morning for rational thought. I answered the only way I knew how; truthfully. “Oh, I thought you were someone else.” I said, somewhat without thinking clearly.
The next thing I know, I got socked in the arm and it really hurt because I have been swimming and building up my guns, which is what I call my arms when there is a hint of muscle. Mrs. Laz was quite angry at my response and continued to beat me about the arm and neck. This is not the best way to wake up.
I am not sure where things went wrong. I do remember dreaming about Jennifer Lopez and had Mrs. Laz been sleeping on her stomach I may not have made the mistake in identification, but that seemed so beside the point to Mrs. Laz.
So here’s my question, and I hope I will get some diverse answers and, further, that the answers will not become gender-specific: Should I have been rewarded for the initial act of love and affection rather than punished for a sleepy comment? Didn’t the love come first? I await your responses.
12 comments:
You need a lot of therapy.
Be more clear. Do you think Mrs. Laz needs therapy?
No doubt, but probably from being married to you. But I WAS suggesting Laz needs therapy.
Harm, harm, harm,
Hit 'em in the arm,
Rass, rass, rass,
Kick 'em in the other arm.
Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Venus;
You deserve to have your arm punched.
It seems to me that MRS LAZ should have been on the receiving end of the sock in the arm, along with a hearty guffaw, after you said, “Oh, I thought you were someone else.” The repeated battering of your arm was uncalled for. What did she think...YOU were someone else?!
I think you need lots and lots of Therapy. How old are you. You should know better then to say that to Ms. Laz. You are just being a dumb male.
LAZ,"BAD words" that will not get
you any good stuff for Christmas...
Wives DON'T have the same level of
sick humor as we me have; and are
prone to not see the subtle little
things we say ( without thinking ) of being hurtful......
et tu, Agent 69, et tu?
sorry Laz but the snuggling became negated by the sleepy headed comment! All your good work down the drain. Perhaps sleeping with some duct tape on your mouth might save you from further punishment!
suz
WOW...
Laz you F-d up yet again. Now listen carefully or you may be subject to 'Bobbit' retribution.
Mrs Laz my sympathies that you have to suffer with such insincerities. He does need help and your Klobbering was a sufficient dose, may I suggest a little superglue whilst he sleeps, little laz and the twins may enjoy a nice cuddle with Big Laz's thighe.
A Mrs Laz supporter!
NO! This is not right! 27-some-odd years of wedded blaz...bliss...should have taught your wonderful wife to expect humor as yet another expression of your affection. (Perhaps you had been away too long and she forgot what she loves about you?)
Post a Comment