This will meander, but stick with me because this stream does head into a bigger river. All my working life has been aimed toward the center field walls with the bases loaded. I hit one out every now and again and maybe I drive in a run the hard way, being hit by tailing fastball. For 33 years now I’ve lived a life that’s ruled by the long ball, the big hit, the big-ticket sale. In some years, success is defined for my little company as doing three projects instead of only two. And one project? It puts us out on the street with a sign that reads, “Will consult for food.”
My company’s collective souls hoped for a relatively large project to come our way this week and we simply didn’t get it. My usual morose set in, but not for very long. Something struck me as not wanting to be defined that way any longer. I waited in that doorway for the call that didn’t come. Looking back, I altered my life for nearly a week, trying to stay awake the entire Thailand night just because it happened to be the American day. It also didn't look too pretty denying who I am in order to appear to be who they wanted just so I could get the job. And, in the end, it got me nothing. C’est la vie.
The consolation line goes, “All things happen for a reason.” I used to think this line was meant for people who lose often. But it had to come from somewhere and it has to have meant something or it wouldn’t be so ingrained into our lexicon. It also happens to be the way I felt when I heard the news. The fact is, I’m happy with my life and my little company playing small ball. I like that we’re hitting singles right now and, with each hit, we’re enjoying more of what we’re doing. The Boy is developing his own way to make the company grow – recasting it as a durable partner rather than a company left to the vagaries of others to come up with a harebrained idea and who likes us. Waiting is not a viable business model, but paving your own road by your gut and grit is. It’s how my business started and I’ve taken it off into the ditch far too often.
My contribution is also evolving. There is an old guard that exists in politics that’s almost near the top. It’s a group that’s petty and envious of those who are actually at the top. Among this group I’m looked upon as unworthy because I have nothing to contribute to their success and larger ambitions. Ironically, to those at the top, I’m well-liked and respected. It was the former group that rejected me yesterday. However, in the middle of that rejection I was getting grateful kudos from leaders of one of the largest corporations in the world. The payday from those at the top isn’t as good for now, but the trend line has more promise and longer-term stability. And it’s not lost on me that it’s much more intriguing and invigorating to work at this level. I never made as much money messing around with world leaders and their minders, but, oh, how I’ve learned.
What’s life about if all we do is toil for our paycheck? Surely it’s better to do the things that stir the soul. It makes us happier, more gratified and allows us to go back to those we love with a broader smile rather than a rampant restlessness. I didn’t learn this in the last 24 hours. Deep down I always knew it. It’s why I’ve pursued such offbeat opportunities for all of my life.
Don’t take me wrong, I won’t sit on a pitch that’s in my wheelhouse and turn down a big project. But I also refuse to play the game that’s gone on for far too long. That way is left to the dark ages, as far as I’m concerned. Lost in much of my grousing in the past several years – I call it the Sladed years because he’s been witness to so much uncertainty – is how I’ve been able to live. Yes, I was gone a lot, but I was there more often than most to watch my kids grow up and take part in their sports and watch them turn into the wonderful people they are today (yes, Em, I know I missed your birthday 12 times).
Watching a new child be born into the same cycle, I’m relieved by her father’s attitude that none of what we do at work is worthwhile unless we can be close to our children. Is there a better way to define success than to wake up in the morning and be able to tickle a little weasel for a few hours without the concern the boss is pacing the office because you’re an hour late for work? The takeaway from living life where you're not always swinging for the fences is best amplified by what Henry David Thoreau wrote: “Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail.”
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