Living Your Life in the Movies

There are two books that are important in American literature, each with the same theme. One is called Everything I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten and on the other end of the spectrum, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Watching Star Trek.”

I’d like to add my idea for a new book to begin where these pioneers and geniuses (geni?) have left off. To wit: how about All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned From Watching Movies?

But first a vital fact. The author of the Star Trek book is a guy named Dave Marinaccio who once shared an office with me while we were both enslaved at Bozell Advertising. He was supposed to be writing ad copy for the “Got Milk” commercials instead of working on his book, and I was supposed to be accomplishing some bit of public relations trickery to make Bill Gates seem like one of us, but decided instead to contemplate my navel.

Back to writing, editing and spelling good. My thought is that many memorable lines that are part of our mainstream conversation originated from movies (or television – how can we forget where “sorry about that” came from?). It’s an art form or, take this quote from 1983’s The Big Chill to better explain: “Sometimes you have to let art... flow... over you.”

There are many current movies offering wisdom for every day trials and tribulations. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy described love better than any Browning poem by comparing it to the song Afternoon Delight by the near-mystical Starland Vocal Band. Burgundy would fight you if you didn't agree, too. And how about love as said best in Old School; “Love, it’s a mother-fucker, eh?”

As for life in general, it’s always useful to turn to Woody Allen and get his mench-like wisdom, all from Love and Death. There’s good judgment, “And so I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Actually, make that ‘I run through the valley of the shadow of death’ - in order to get OUT of the valley of the shadow of death more quickly.” And philosophy, something you may have heard me say many times, “Judgment of any system, or a priori relationship or phenomenon exists in an irrational, or metaphysical, or at least epistemological contradiction to an abstract empirical concept such as being, or to be, or to occur in the thing itself, or of the thing itself.” How best to face the inevitable fear of dying, DEATH: “You're an interesting young man. We'll meet again.” BORIS: “Don’t bother.” DEATH: “It’s no bother.” He also nails it on sex, SONJA: “Oh don't, Boris, please. Sex without love is an empty experience.” BORIS: “Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.” Advice on marriage, “I don’t want to marry; I only want to get divorced.” And, finally, religion, “If it turns out that there IS a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.”

Learning anything yet?

There are some very memorable moments in good movies too, like Atticus Finch speaking on the duty of the court system in To Kill a Mockingbird. The OJ jury should have heard this: “Now gentlemen, in this country our courts are the great levelers, and in our courts all men are created equal. I'm no idealist to believe firmly in the integrity of our courts and of our jury system. That's no ideal to me. That is a living, working reality. Now I am confident that you gentlemen will review without passion the evidence that you have heard, come to a decision, and restore this man to his family. In the name of God, do your duty. In the name of God, believe Tom Robinson.” Of course this one is better if you’re actually watching the movie.

There are great, short lines that say it all, such as “I am not an actor, I’m a movie star!” from My Favorite Year, “Plastics” from The Graduate, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse” from the Godfather, “We’ll always have Paris” from Casablanca, "A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie," from Emily's favorite Sleepless is Seattle. “You make me wanna be a better man,” from As Good as it Gets, “That’s what I love about these high school girls, I keep getting’ older and they stay the same age,” from Dazed and Confused, Lazlo Hollyfeld’s immortal words from Real Genius, “Did you want to wear my pajamas?” How about this from Arthur, "There are two books ....two ..... books ... take ..them ..back ..to ..the.. library...." From Flesh Gordon, *sniffs* “Good, there’s Oxygen on this planet.” “Yes, but they were all bad,” from True Lies. Lastly, from Napoleon Dynamite, these little gems (how can you choose just one?) – “You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff,” “A liger … It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic,” “The worst day of my life, what do you think?” and, finally, “Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.”

What would a life lesson be without the following movie quote from Ghost Busters? – “Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!”

I’ll leave you with two thoughts, one from the Usual Suspects – “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.” The other is from Pulp Fiction that was to the point – “There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.”

There must be hundreds more and perhaps I will get a few more posts. Let me know what I forgot.