NBA Power Rankings

This is the first of several irregular NBA Power Rankings done, in most part, to rankle my daughter who doesn’t believe I know anything about professional basketball. If it irritates others, so much the better.

Week One:

San Antonio Spurs: Well, this isn’t a difficult choice since everyone else in the world picked the Spurs at the top spot. And why not? They have one of the best and most consistent players in Tim Duncan who enters this season rested and healthy. Give him the NBA’s best coach with Gregg Popovich, the quickest player in the League in Tony Parker, Mr. Perpetual Motion in Manu Ginobili and a number of seasoned veterans who know their roles, and you have a team that should be at the top spot.

Dallas Mavericks: I hate putting them this high up because I don’t care for the players. Dirk is whining big man who lacks toughness to go inside and mix it up, Erick Dampier will mix it up but has become a cheap player, Josh Howard is one of those players that does all the annoying, but effective, things and Jason Terry is a bit too temperamental for my tastes. Oh, and they have a whack job for an owner. They do have a great coach in the Little General, Avery Johnson and he somehow makes it all work and, besides, he’s the only likeable guy in the organization.

Detroit Pistons: It wasn’t the Tigers’ year this fall nor the Pistons’ year last year, but the Detroit Shock won the WNBA Championship over the summer and that’s cause to put the men’s varsity up this high. Well, that’s not the only reason: they have really, really good players who know how to win. Yes they lost Ben Wallace and a few players like Rasheed Wallace, Dale Davis, Antonio McDyess and even Chaunchey Billups are getting a bit older, but they still have Richard Hamilton, Tayshun Prince and a couple good free agent acquisitions in Nazr Mohammed and Flip Murray. They may not beat you with flash and athleticism, but they will beat up – as long as they don’t listen to the other Flip, coach Flip Saunders.

Phoenix Suns: This team is the Ferrari in the League with speed and handling and no reason for brakes. Steve Nash still leads this team but gets plenty of help from a group that can shoot from anywhere on the floor and jump higher than Baryshnikov. They also get Amare Stoudemire back this year who can be one of the most dominant players in the League when he wants. Of course he is working his way back from micro-fracture surgery on his knee and there is a virtual boneyard of previous NBA players who never made it back from such an injury.

Denver Nuggets: Nobody has this team this high up but I want to be a bit controversial. Besides, there are a bunch of teams that fall into this second tier category and I’d rather put this young and promising team this high rather than the Clippers who never seem to live up to the hype. This last summer, the Nuggets’ Carmelo Anthony was the best and most consistent player for Team USA and he may yet prove to be the best player to come out of the LeBron, Dwayne Wade, Darko draft year. He also has a better cast around him this year with Kenyon Martin slightly happier, Marcus Camby healthier and Nene just plain healthy. He also has J.R. Smith who has a huge upside, the steady, if slow, Andre Miller at the point and a couple of hacks in Reggie “The Ballgrabber” Evans and Eduardo Najera who may keep a number of players from thinking twice before heading for the basket.

Los Angeles Clippers: If the whole team had the attitude and talent that Elton Brand squeezes out of his undersize body, they’d be on the top of the list. Sam Cassell is a proven winner but he from Mars and is as old as dirt. Shaun Livingston and Chris Kamen are supposed to have breakout years, but what Clipper isn’t? Cuttino Mobley and Rebraca (what’s the point in his first name) will provide the outside shooting with Corey Maggette the athleticism (although he really doesn’t fit this team and wouldn’t surprise me if he’s traded before the season is out). Anyway, the Clips could end up higher or lower depending on undependable factors.

Miami Heat: OK, so I cheated a bit and watched them lose to the Bulls tonight by 40. They looked old and awful and seem to depend more than ever on Dwayne Wade who scored 25 with no other player in double figures. Of course the team barely made double figures either. Shaq looks slow and disinterested, Jason Williams is hurt, James Posey only plays defense and Antoine Walker just jacks up threes to see if he can draw iron. One game does not a season make, but the most recent NBA Champions should have given back the championship rings they were handed in the pre-game ceremony out of shame.

Chicago Bulls: One game does not a season make, but I repeat myself. The Bulls look like the real deal with a solid starting lineup and pretty decent depth. Hinrich, Gordon, Deng, Nocioni and newly acquired Ben Wallace make up a formidable core of a good, young team. But that’s the problem; they are young and have never been in the spotlight like this before. Will take a wait and see approach to see how they respond to the new pressure.

Cleveland Cavaliers: The Cavs won 50 games last year because LeBron James is the best player since Michael Jordan. He still could use a little help for the team to improve on last year, but he probably didn’t get his wish as the team is made up of mostly the same has-beens and never-weres as last year.

New Jersey Nets: I was not one of those who predicted the Nets would do well last year, but they still won their weak division by January, I think. Jason Kidd looks like an old wife beater rather than a young one these days but the Nets have Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson and a much improved Nenad Krstic (get that man a vowel). They don’t have a great deal more than that, but won’t need it in the East and especially in their conference.

Houston Rockets: Go figure this team out. They have the best center in the League with Yao Ming, one of the best swingmen to play the game in Tracy McGrady and a pretty good supporting cast with Bonzi Wells and Rafer Alston. They also stole Shane Battier from Memphis who is one of those guys you need on a team if you want to get better. Battier can be counted on to play defense, get 6-7 rebounds each game, 3-4 assists, a few steals and dozens of hustle plays.

Sacramento Kings: They could be good this year or a bust. Already the injuries have diminished the roster as Mike Bibby will sit the first few weeks out sucking his thumb and Brad Miller got a little banged up at the end of pre-season. But they still have the League’s craziest player in Ron Artest who will either score or brawl with the opposing team – or his team, it’s all the same to him. Could be a breakout year for Kevin Martin and the team has more depth than last year’s team that finished strong. The Kings are still in search of a leader and probably won’t find it in their coach who you can find cleaning up the freeway in an orange vest for his drunk driving conviction. Great influence on these impressionable players, don’t you think?

Los Angeles Lakers: I just want to make sure I keep the Lakers below the Kings. It won’t last long. As soon as Kobe comes back from his injury without a corresponding rape charge he will have a team used to playing without him and one that Coach Phil Jackson will have convinced they don’t need to take his staredowns when they don’t get him the ball. Lamar Odom, the second nuttiest player in the League has improved immensely, Luke Walton is one of those Battier-type players and Kwame Brown and Andrew Bynum both look like solid big men. In the end, Kobe is the difference maker and it will be up to him to carry this team on his shoulders again. I am sure he hates that kind of attention, don’t you?

Indiana Pacers, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards, Minnesota Timberwolves, New Orleans Hornets, Milwaukee Bucks, Orlando Magic, Golden State Warriors: All these teams are interchangeable and have the ability to move up higher in the rankings or drop down, depending on my mood and how they play. The Pacers have the third craziest player in the NBA in Stephen Jackson (third with a bullet, pardon the pun); Utah has all of its players back from injury and still has Jerry Sloan to guide them or kill them, his choice. Also Deron Williams appears to be turning into a star at the point; the Wizards can’t play defense but Gilbert Arenas and team can put up a lot of points; the Timberwolves got rid of Wally-ball, which helps, but KG’s got some mileage on him and not much help other than stat-conscious Rickey Davis; I’m not one of those big Hornet fans yet since Chris Paul seems like the only legit star on a team that made a number of off-season moves but seemed to just improve their starting lineup by 5-6 wins for this year; the Milwaukee Bucks got better in the draft and through free agency but still need more than Michael Redd to score consistently, but this team could jump up in the rankings if they can mesh well; the Magic are an intriguing team this year as Dwight Howard looks like a stud, Darko seems to be emerging from the shadows, Jameer Nelson looks like he can play and maybe Grant Hill might play a whole season; Golden State got Nellie but still has a collection of misfits. My daughter gives me the inside scoop that they may trade for AI which may help attendance if not wins.

Then there is a next group of teams not ready to do much. They include the Toronto Raptors who have a good, young and very foreign team, the Seattle Supersonics who still have Ray Allen if not an arena. The Charlotte Bobcats who at least have a Fantasy League superstar in Gerald Wallace who will probably lead the league in steals, and get his share of blocked shots, rebounds and points and play well with a good young nucleus led by Okafor and Morrison. The Memphis Grizzlies who lost their star player in Pau Gasol and did very little to help themselves while he’s out. The Allen Iverson-led Philadelphia 76ers did nothing to improve during the offseason but perhaps a less-injured, less-shooting Chris Webber will help along with hopeful improvements from Kyle Korver and Iggy.

I'm a fan of the Atlanta Hawks who are led by Joe Johnson and Josh Smith and should improve a few games this year. The Boston Celtics traded for Wally Szczerbiak and Michael Olowokandi and, except for making their team the most difficult to spell, they will do little other than add to Paul Pierce’s growing impatience. The New York Knicks are a disaster that has four point guards and five forwards and all locked into large contracts for a team that finished 41 games back last year. In other words, good luck to them. Bringing up the rear are the Portland Trailblazers who have nothing but misplaced aggression in Zach Randolf and an embarrassed owner. Zach is certain to vie with former teammate Rasheed Wallace for most technicals in League history with the new whistle-happy rules.

Did I forget anyone? Check back in a bit to see if I’m scurrying about to explain my rankings.