Random -- But Intertwined -- Thoughts

Air travel is a pain in the behind, there’s no getting around it. Passengers get herded onto a plane like cattle, fed like chickens and tied down to one spot like veal. And to think we pay for this privilege. I traveled for nine hours this past Sunday, but I had it better than Laz Jr. who was returning from Italy. His trip ate up 23 hours of his life and in the end, they lost his luggage for two days. Two days is a pain, but does not equal my tragic luggage escapade in Ghana (see earlier posts).

There was a full moon on Sunday which may explain a few things about passenger behavior. The moon seemed stationary off the wing and I wasn’t sure if I was in a bad Christopher Cross moment, waiting for ET to buzz by or getting a flashback of how Bill treated those Jehovah Witnesses who attempted to save him as a teenager.

I sat next to a Stage 4 talker who didn’t get a whiff of a hint that I needed my alone time, even when I put my headphones on. I do know a lot about her kids though. It also wouldn’t have mattered as I had a headphone malfunction, rendering my IPOD of no real value for the majority of my trip. I think I will take back-up precautions next trip.

Anyway, flying is boring and flying is far too lonely, even if you have an overly-friendly seatmate. As boring as flying is, it didn’t even come close to putting me to sleep as my night at the movies the evening before did. I saw “Marie Antoinette” which was directed and written by Sophia Coppola. I had hoped Sophie would surprise me again after her wonderful first film, “Lost In Translation,” despite what the critics had to say. “Marie Antoinette” was roundly booed when presented at Cannes, but I figured getting jeers from the French was more of a reason to see it than not.

I hate to admit, I side with the French. “Marie Antoinette” stunk like an unbathed Frenchman and Sophie added beaucoup d’stink with her strange direction and choice of accompanying music. Since Marie (real name: Maria Antonia Josefa Johanna von Habsburg-Lothringen, if you cared) was sent off to France to be a queen when she was 12, Coppola took the occasion to treat the film like a modern-day teen flick with “Legally Blonde” like pastel colored opening set to the music of Siouxsie & The Banshees and followed up by such music luminaries as Bow Wow Wow, Adam & The Ants and Radio Dept. Hardly the kind of 18th Century music one would have expected for such a period movie.

I know what Sophie was thinking: she wanted to present Marie as accessible to mindless moviegoers in such a way that it would seem familiar to us. In other words, she didn’t trust us enough to comprehend that this was a young queen-to-be with teenage desires for fun and frivolity. And just in case there was one person who didn’t make the connection, she hammered it home throughout the movie.

Coppola did another bit of hammering on her sole theme of the movie: that Marie was bored and confined to doing mostly boring activities. As a result, it became a boring movie about boredom – two hours of it. Lost in Coppola’s translation of the life of Marie Antoinette was the story of the French Revolution and the beginning of the French Republic. Instead the movie ends with the King and Queen leaving Versailles, giving many movie-goers the idea that she lived happily ever after in some far distant land rather than soon facing the guillotine. Yikes this movie is bad and gets no stars from this Laz.

Speaking of disappointment, I know what a lot of you are thinking. Following Tuesday’s election, you’re waiting for me to grab my gold fish and Rene Zellweger and just … FREAK OUT. But I’m not.

As you may note from an earlier post, I suggested republicans had done very little to earn another round of power from American voters – even though I don’t think democrats deserved a shot in the driver’s seat either. While I may be disappointed in the results, I think an anecdote may better express what I think will happen the next two years:

I was in Paris on the evening of an election that gave Socialist Lionel Jospin the votes to lead the French government. Jospin was anxiously watching election returns in a hotel ballroom that was adjacent to a ballroom where the center-right parties were preparing for a victory that never came. As it happened, I was camped out with the center-right folks and attempting to make use of my seven years of first-year French on grim campaigners. The main knock against the then-ruling center-right was unemployment, which had been hovering above 10 percent for most of the previous five years. Jospin had campaigned on the platform that he would increase employment by limiting the workweek for all employees to 35 hours, forcing employers to hire more people to make up for the missing five hours. Well, it sounded stupid to me too. But it didn’t to the French who bought the bad bit of economic theory and gave him the keys to the Cabinet.

When it appeared there would be no victory in our ballroom that evening, my friend Jean and I strolled next door to see what happy French women looked like. While strolling, we found ourselves near Jospin who was wiping his sweaty brow with a handkerchief and speaking with advisors. I suspect the realization that he had won was just beginning to sink in and we overheard him say to his advisors, “well, I guess the unemployment problem is our problem now.”

And that’s what I think is going through the minds of many democrats tonight. They promised “a new direction.” Many suggested significant changes in our Iraq policy and restoring oversight to the Presidency on such issues as the Patriot Act, the NSA surveillance program and curtailing torture of suspected terrorists (make them watch “Marie Antoinette” over and over, I say).

The voters, in their infinite wisdom, put the democrats back in charge and now every problem they have been beating into our heads has become their problem. In one evening of an Election Day hangover, ownership of all our ills was shifted from President Bush to the democrats and the American people will be expecting them to be fixed and fixed by New Year’s. I suspect there are a few democrats who wished they had a plan to clean up the problems (other than bringing George McGovern out of mothballs) because there is no getting around the expectations and limited patience of the American voter. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, unemployment in France went up, not down, and Jospin’s government was out at the next election. Don’t be surprised if we soon hear “Off with their heads” when fickle voters don’t believe they’re getting the Nirvana they voted for.