Revenge Of The Nerds

Last month Governor Schwarzenegger signed a bill into law that will require people who talk on their cell phones in their car to use a hands free device. For those of us who have driven behind some nimrod chatting away on his phone at 15 mph, this will come as welcome news.

In fact, I know I pay much less attention to my driving while I am on the phone. And it’s gotten worse since I now have all my contact information in my phone, leaving me to scroll through my phone to look for a number to call. I also get e-mail and text messages while driving and it’s very tempting to sneak a peak at the latest nonsense sent to me every time my little phone beeps telling me there is a new message. Not sure how the new law will deal with those bad habits, but I know they haven’t invented a hands free device to satisfy my message-based curiosity.

I only have one problem with the new law. I don’t mind hands free devices as a practical matter, but I am bothered about how goofy they make you look. How many times have you seen someone walking and wearing those ear-piece microphones, seemingly talking to themselves?

There is nothing fashionable about the headsets, either. As near as I can tell, they were designed by computer geeks who had watched one too many episodes of Star Trek or Star Wars movies. I think it is a very clever ruse by these techno-nerds as they get us all to look nerdy just so they can live out their Star Trek fantasies. And now it’s becoming law, forever requiring us all to look like a big dufus.

I can’t wait for voice activated cell phones so we can just speak commands and the phone will dial who we ask it to. Then we’ll be rid of the Star Trek and Star Wars microphone gear as we say, “Computer, please call Sladed ….” Wait a minute! That’s another Star Trek gadget! Life will never be the same.