As a reprieve from the vigorous debate on my last post on global warming and Iraq, I offer this post on – global warming. Or should I discuss global cooling because, damn, is it cold.
It was minus 2 degrees in Minneapolis where I switched planes and had to wait far too long to get off the jetway and on the plane. In Virginia, it’s 21 degrees and snowing. We need a patch of global warming and we need it now.
The snow is fluffy and white and beautiful, but I will likely end up skidding on ice and sail into a snow drift. The good news, I know what to do if I end up in a snow drift: stay with the car. The bad news is nobody is coming. I could call AAA and they will commend me for staying with the car, but I think they do that so they will no where to find the body once the snow melts. As good a company as AAA is, the only difference between them and any other towing service is, while neither will come out in this weather to extricate me from a snow drift, at least AAA won’t charge me.
It's pretty cold inside my Virginia Estates too and this is saying something because usually it’s 80 degrees inside when it 20 degrees outside. It’s so cold I considered backing the car up and sticking the exhaust pipe in the window to keep it warmer in the bedroom. My plan was foiled when the engine block froze.
In the end, it is better to stay inside rather than drive in this weather. I know the kids used to long for storms like this because it meant that the weather was bad enough to cancel school but, ironically, not bad enough to meet up with their friends and go sledding. What the kids may not have known was that we parents longed for the same kind of day because we didn’t really feel like going into work either. And this brings me to my marketing suggestion for AAA. Rather than fish us out for bad driving in bad weather, they should come to our house, make us a lunch and give us a few drinks, wrap our legs in a warm blanket, turn on the television and tell us not to go anywhere. Now this would be a service worth paying the big bucks for.
6 comments:
Watch out for those patches of ice so you don't f*****g fall......
What's the deal? Everyone complains when I write about politics but I get 7-10 comments when I do. Then I make an attempt to write something humorous and don't get much in the way of comments. Please massage my delicate ego and write (good things).
Great post hunny, you are so amazing and you humor is just as witty and fun as ever! Keep on writing and we promise to keep on posting.
Love you and stay warm and don't slip.
Love,
Mrs. Laz
What are you complaining about? It has been really cold here in San Diego AND it is going to rain this weekend. This is a real crisis and tragedy. Please stop wallowing in your self pity and show some concern for those people who are experiencing terrible weather.
I would have commented sooner but this is actually a confusing post in that I wasn't sure whether or not it was a political statement on global warning or a post on the humorous side of life. Now that I know...
It's so dang cold in San Diego today that I had to turn on the central heating, make some hot chocolate in the microwave, wrap myself in a quilt, and watch Blue Crush on television this morning. So now I'm off to the Why to swim in the indoor pool, run on the treadmill, and ride the exercise bike and still get home before the coming downpour. (They're predicting a 1/4" in this storm.)
1/4 inch! Sounds like another Katrina disaster. Head for the school buses!
Post a Comment