So the Girl is off on the biggest adventure of her life. About two weeks ago she got an offer to work part time with Make-A-Wish Foundation in San Francisco, a city she has wanted to call home for a very long time. Almost too quickly she and Mrs. Laz found her an apartment – the very first they looked at – returned back to San Diego, packed up her worldlies in a small rental truck and a day later the two drove back up to San Francisco to turn the Girl’s dream into a home.
Of course I am devastated that she is living 500 miles north and I will forever miss her being around the house. But the sad feelings are somewhat tempered by knowing she is so happy where she is. You can hear the contentment in her voice when we talk on the phone and with all her friends living just blocks from her I know she is not lonely (except I know she misses Nubs the cat and Spooner the dog – wish she missed us more, but what can you do?).
This move makes Mrs. Laz and me total Empty-Nesters since it is doubtful we’ll have a return of children anytime soon. Although kids tend to resemble boomerangs, it’s doubtful we’ll have ours back in the house as anything other than visitors. This is, naturally, natural and something all of our parents had to go through at some point. I wonder if my parents felt this divided sense of sorrow that I moved out but pride that I was striking out on my own. In the case of my parents, they hid their sadness by renting out my room within hours of my departure. “Be strong,” I remember telling them. “Who are you?” I remember them answering. It was good of them not to dwell, I think.
Now Mrs. Laz and I have the freedom to do as we wish; run around the house naked, having sex in every room, ect. I wonder if this admission will lesson the number of guests? Ah, so what, due to the ravages of age and my diminished good looks and charm the chance of the multi-room romp will be a rare event indeed.
Em, if you’re reading this, know that I will miss much about you. How we had our own language built on the poetic genius of modern classic films such as Anchorman, Old School, Zoolander and, of course, Step Brothers (I did like it). It will not be the same watching television without you, which means less anxiety about being in the room “first,” but also not having you around to share our thoughts on who will win American Idol and the Biggest Loser. It also means I will miss your never-ending patience for me as I asked, “Who’s that?” and “What’s going on?” in the middle of some inane MTV show that I would never figure out what was going on with a 10-page dissertation.
I am very happy and proud for you, Em, and hope so much that you find out what you want from this life and learn to adapt to your new environment, helping you grow from these experiences. I love you and will miss you, but am so happy you are on your way.
3 comments:
You are on your way Em and I can't agree enough with your father's thoughts (well most of them I am comfortable with but a few will require me to turn his filter back on). I wish for you nothing but best, loads of happiness and contentness and of course much success. You are a wonderful person with so much to offer so many. Go out there and make the very best of life, grab all that you can grab and have fun. The world is a better place thanks to you. We do miss you so much here at home, where ever you are you bring such life and joy to those around you--I guess it is time for us to share that with the world. I miss you but am so proud and happy for you. And of course you know there is always a place here for you, no matter how long you want to stay.
Love you.
Mom
Although it is a sad and difficult time it is also a time to feel some pride. I know she can and will be successful and this is an important next step for her. When times get a little tuff she just needs to stick with it and "make it work" (as Tim Gunn would say - I think she knows who that is!) It is my observation that she is a fine and capable woman, that daughter of yours is. I think she can be fierce when she needs to be.
As for you missing her, the only solution will be more workouts.
When I coached age groupers I knew it was my job to make my swimmers so good that they didn't need me as their primary support anymore. I tried to help them grow and improve and "move up". We parents seem to have the same job. Be proud of her, be proud that she is moving up, cheer her successes, and always be in her corner.
Ah, how well I remember these times. And, strangely enough, I am experiencing some of the same emotions as I adjust to the absence of frank. The joy of these kids will never go away as you watch their process out in the "cold, cruel world" and just think, you don't have to feed them anymore!! Besides, when she sees you next you may have lost another 20!
JJ
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